ignoring the raindrops [prose/letter poem]

oh, moonlight goddess...


i've lost my place. my fingertips seem weak. autumn's monologue calls, but i've ignored her pleading cries. she sends her children, the leaves, to their deaths. they explode into flames of the brightest scarlets and the deepest of yellows, but my eyes have become blinded to their massacre. autumn is bleeding her life out for me, yet somehow my heart has sympathized with winter's unforgivable chill.

what is wrong with me, my luminescent queen? where has my heart gone? i fear that i've followed you for too long, and my skin is paling along with the once-burning flame of my soul. i taste ashes upon my lips and my irises are that of a stranger's. and i fear that love is only but an echo to me--no longer a light to orbit and live for.

so i find now that i am sinning my innocence away. but through all of these misdoings, i realize now what is the worst.

i have ignored the raindrops. i feel them on my skin, but they do not cleanse me. the storm-clouds have cried for me, and i have thrust them away! i don't deserve your forgiveness. i don't deserve anything at all...

please, do not try to think good of me anymore. forgiveness is not a gift that should ever been given to such a failure as i am.







with shame that has no comparison,
a fading star.

ugh.

I am finally back from Hilton Head. I'm absolutely tired--I was in the car for 11 hours yesterday...but I'm slowly and surely getting my energy back. Haha.

Nope, I haven't posted any poetry yet. That's alright--I'll take my sweet time.

My dad is walking a bit now. He keeps on assuming that he's fine (he's a bit stubborn and doesn't want to feel useless) but he still hurts a bit. Last night he had to lie down from his back hurting. But he is doing a lot better than he was a few weeks ago.

*meows*

Hmmm maybe I'll write more later. oh well.

bad news

So...my dad is currently in a hospital in Pennsylvania right now. He had a really scary moment when were all going to this botanical place in Pittsburgh. Earlier he had been complaining of pain in his lower back. He was limping really bad as we walked up to the door...

Once we got in, he suddenly got really pale and collapsed to the floor. We picked him up to put him in a chair, but then he passed out, falling back to the floor. The museum called emergency services, and an ambulance arrived about fifteen minutes later.

He was taken to the Allegheny hospital in Pittsburgh, where he was treated and tested upon. While he was in there, he passed out again--and his heart stopped for 20 seconds. Luckily the doctors quickly brought him back and gave him morphine for the pain.

Yesterday my family and I went to visit him. We discovered that he is scheduled to have surgery today in order to receive a permanent pacemaker for his heart. He won't be able to come back for a few days. Nick, Luke, Michael and I have all come back home to Ohio, but my mom will stay there with him for a few days.

So...mine and Michael's birthday is just about to be canceled. Haha.

So we're all still hoping and praying for Dad and that the surgery will turn out well.

so here i am

Well. Didn't think I'd ever start a blog. I'd always considered it, I guess, but...never thought I'd go through with it.

Well, I'm Natalie George. Hope you guys know me already. If not, hey--I'm open to meeting new people.

I am a lover and practitioner of poetry. It is how I release my soul into the world, and how I can see the souls of other writers as well. Poetry is for words that cannot be justified in a normal conversational paragraph form. Poetry is for explaining true beauty, pain, happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness...it is the true voice crying in the wilderness, begging to be heard.

So I'm tired. I'll eventually post some of my poetry that I have on other websites. Then maybe I'll start updating more often.

Hooray.